I use to do that, very sarcastic and "mean". I think it's a form of "if I can't have it, neither can you", because one is hurt. It's like when we were kids. Perhaps it's a re-enactment sort of thing, hoping somehow we can be/feel on the "up" side this time. I think one has to decide they don't want to be that way and look for how things really are, learn to treat others as we'd like to be treated and gradually notice we are treated better, we do care and are cared for in return.