The MD referred me to a psychiatrist. But not until the 28th. Been waiting for that. I think that the effexor is helping. I think what is really wrong with me though is a depersonalization disorder. I feel tired all the time which I think might be a symptom of the medication but I don't know. Went out yesterday but it took me a long time to get myself calm enough to sleep. I had to take an ativan, 2 ellavil, and 9mg of melatonin. I can't remember what normal feels like. Just can't seem to get myself to feel right but I haven't had an intense feeling of being trapped as myself for a while but I still fear it. I wonder if those feelings aren't just the anxiety making what is normal into something scary.