It sounds to me like an anxiety problem, could be OCD or just a habit you got into, thinking and feeling as a child that it worked for you (all that mattered) but having the habit still now and knowing it doesn't really work. A therapist could help with working on the anxiety so you don't "need" the habit anymore and it can just go away as not useful; might take some time though, mine took 7-30 years to get rid of :-)