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peaches100 · Jul 23, 2010, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

((((((Peaches))))))

I think you are very brave to send your T that email. Now she will know EXACTLY how you feel. You're not foolish at all!

I just wish there were an easy answer. As you know, I'm struggling with similar issues, and I'm getting attached to my new T in the same way. I know she will listen to the parts that want her to love me, but I know she wants me to love them because she can't be there for me in that way. I understand your pain and the pain of the child. I know the rejected feelings of not being reciprocated by the T. It hurts so deep inside.

I don't know what the answer is. I know you've tried very hard to love those parts yourself, and it hasn't worked. I would like to hope that letting those child parts be there totally, instead of presenting your adult self, and totally grieving for what you can't get from T would be the answer. I'm wishing that for myself, too. If not, I am at a loss. However, your T is experienced and wise. Maybe this email will help her decide how she can best help you. I hope your session is a good one.

Hi Rainbow,

Oh Rainbow, you know me well! You know how i struggle mightily with this attachment stuff. When i went on my session Wednesday, i couldn't let those vulnerable child parts of me be present in the room. i couldn't let them cry or grieve. It felt too scary/not safe for them to express feelings after they'd been so hurt. But i did attend the session as adult me and learned alot about my t, and i feel much better from that standpoint.

I hope soon i will feel safe and OK again about bringing out that vulnerable small part of me. She's been in hiding for over 1 month now since the email incident happened. It seems unbelieavable that something as small as t not responding to her feelings would send her into hiding. but it's true. she has felt rejected sooooooooo many times in life. . .and is always primed for it. any sign of it and she disappears.