I'm sorry to post this here, but I don't know where else to put it. With all of you that know with out a doubt what happened to you, it seems somehow disrespectful to come here asking this question, but who else can tell me?

Here's the deal. When I was little my parents had this friend who definitely had a problem. As my father puts it, "He was crazy, just crazy about women and girls". Thay still let him visit. By my parents account he used to come talk to my sister and I all the time after we went to bed. Once they realized he had a problem they used to "keep a very close eye on him, and go find him when ever he disappeared off to our room". I've asked my sister, she says he just used to tickle us. I have no memory of any of it. I have these dreams though, wierd dreams that I don't understand. Dreams that seem to be from the perspective of a very small child, but about things a child should know nothing about. The only other thing is a strong dislike of any sort of soothing. My T tried that voice a few times, I told him it feels like it slithers down my spine and twists between my shoulder blades, and I hate it. He tries not to do it anymore.

During my last session he told me that some of the stuff that he thought perhaps I'd just been born with, he now thinks perhaps is related to sexual abuse. He said it real serious, even asked if I understood what he was saying to me. He said that he sees things in me, that suggest to him, that I've experienced it. I've never told him about the dreams, although he does know about the guy, and my dislike of soothing voices.

I keep arguing with myself. Wouldn't I have some memory if it happened? Is it that I don't want to remember? Please don't be upset with me for asking this stuff. If there's some place else I should be asking this, just let me know.

Thanks, Quay