You are probably right bloom but it isn't easy for me to hear it. I will try to be gentle with myself but I am afraid that if I let myself feel too much I will meltdown and cycle somewhere I don't want to go. The anxiety today of getting my son off to vacation with my brother has been almost overwhelming. Its normal everyday stuff that just triggers so much anxiety for me I do just want to numb myself from everything.

I guess I need to rethink what stabilizing looks like and feels like too perhaps. My head is ready to explode off my shoulders right now so just breathing and not thinking seems my best strategy for now.

Thanks for your wisdom.