My Support Forums - View Single Post - Repeating why do we have to repeat in irl

anderson · Jul 23, 2010, 07:14 PM

In the past three years we have said that we have a commom memior for physcal time line when we are not abused. But those around us have almost completly refused to accept this which has allowed the dark souls to hurt us more.

we are being over sensitive ya right. Our new T tried to get us to accept the fact that we were being to scared of those normal people around us. to that we asked her If we got hit by baseball bat in the face then am I being to sensitive? She said no. Then if some one come up to us and ask us why we have not dropped dead because no one wants us near them ? are we being tooo sensitive? She finely said no that we were being abused.
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That when we told her that each time that we went for help before we got dx for false memior syndrome then released then re hurt by the people that have hurt us since we moved here. Each time they would hurt us more making sure we would not forget what they could do to us and not have any one believe in us.
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We asked her how could we get our life back when no one wanted to stand by our side and see what is happening to us. She pointed out that people do not want to be near those that gave off vibbs to stay away. We pointed out we would not be like this if the only ones that want to come near us is to hurt us then walk away not that we mind the walk away part but how can we learn that we are worth anything if everybody act like we have no common memior and do not have to face the consequences of abuseing us because of how we store trauma memiors.
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This is the person that told us that it is not that we do not know how to talk correctly but that others do not like what they are hearing. So they are discounting it rather then dealing with it.
In tern we asked why would any one want to live in a world where it is accepted that all can hurt a group of people just because they are different.
The pastor even asked why we feel safe with him after all he did sprinkle us with holy water too. To that we asked him did he hurt us to to force the demons out of us. We know he did not do that. But the other ones can not say the same.
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Please note since our last job over a year ago we refused to go back to work. Those around us kept asking when are we going back to work we even got asked over again stupid question to see if we swicthed. We have even had our triggers pushed to see if we would go back to work. After this length of time repeat the same answer you would think that we would have proven our selfs but no. Not to all. We have lost so much. we have not felt safe in so long and no one wanted to hear our pain they just wanted to pass around to those within the community just to see if we stop praying for death but they just took that a new alter was comming to the surface.

Im sorry we keep repeating but we so tired of those in real world not hearing us. We are greatfull for our lighthouses but they need to stop trying to force us back to work where that has been the most abusive place for us. The fact that their are those that are still hurting us and not doing it in front of other tell us that we still have alters with dark soul controllers But what do we know it not like we have lived this way all of our lives and at time have been partially intergrated would be know if we could get past the abuse that are dealing with now from those within the community. Even just to have a safe home, that may give us enough sacurity to endure the abuse and stay in the present.

I dont know any more All those within just want to go and hide If that is the only way to stop the dark souls from hurting us...........