Tree - if you are really afraid that it could break the relationship, this is the one time I would say give yourself permission to shelve it for now. I know I advocate being honest, but I thought about your situation last night while I was trying to sleep and I think there are a few times when NOT telling something may be in YOUR best interests. At least for now until some time passes and you do feel safe enough to share. If you want, you can tell T that you have something that you want to say but you do NOT feel safe enough YET to share it. There is nothing wrong with going about this very slowly and methodically in order to stay safe.