T has told me she cant make me talk
T told me reading this letter will help her help me
I want to please her
I choose to send her back the letter
I dont believe she will do anything differnt with this letter then before and i survived
I just want to know why am i so against hearing my own words,i hate it
how can it help me when i wont even remember what she had to say because i'm so paniced and all the noise in my head.i just want to be normal.i want to go to therapy like everyone here and be able to just say what is on my mind even if it is hard.i just feel so stupid all the time i just need to get over this.every week i say to myself this is stupid i just need to start talking.come up with something to say.i get to T and i swear something else takes over my body and nothing comes out my mouth.i hate it.i really like this T a lot and i dont want her to give up on me.she said she isnt going anyplace but i dont believe her.i'm worried she will send me away.i know this is my crap but it doesnt make it easier at all.