I think that's a great idea.

I sort of think of this site as practice. I admitted my CSA on here quite a while before I ever told T.

I know that feeling of not being able to say the next thing. I will tell T, I can't say the words. And he will suggest things that might help, just to get it OUT...do I want to draw it? do I want to write it? T will even let me write it and put it in my box or tear it up. I think maybe he just wants me to get used to the words, so i can talk eventually.

Eventually, I have to just open my mouth and SAY IT. It's like jumping into a cold pool - standing on the edge, scared to jump, ALMOST jumping but staying out...and then finally just taking a big breath and doing it. The first time I tell him the big words that are really hard to say, I almost always instantly dissociate. I say the words, get dizzy, and whoosh, I'm gone. BUT. They're out, and I survive it, and I'm not alone with it anymore, and we can start talking about whatever it is. It is ALWAYS a relief after I tell him...maybe not instantly, but eventually.

, zoo