Granite... what you are experiencing with "going" to therapy is a big part of therapy itself. You put a lot of courage into showing up. You may not yet realize it, but that IS doing therapy.

When I was in my first round of therapy in college ages 23-26, I would spend MANY sessions sitting there in a staring contest with my counselor. He always kept asking me to come back. I thought for sure he would give up on me. He would ask me a question and I would either not be able to answer because of the noise you mention inside... or because it hurt too much to think about the answer... or because I was angry with him for making me be there. He could have me suspended from college if I didn't come to see him and I was not happy with that at all!

What I didn't realize is that even though I thought I accomplished very little in those sessions, he was doing the very hard work of unfreezing my insides. He was softening the ground so that when I was ready and able to do the therapy I would need to do, that I would be able to do it.

He was right.

It took 15 yrs for me to be ready to do therapy again... and it happened because it was "time" and I had no other option as it was a breakdown. But this time things were different. I was able to go into session and right away get to work.

The reason I share this is because I do understand how painful it feels to sit silently in that chair and not be able to share what your mind knows you need to share. And I want you to know that I am being very serious when I tell you that even though you don't feel like you are doing the therapy or doing the work when you are silent, you are doing very powerful and strong work at the deepest level of who you are.

Be gentle and just continue to show up. Relax into it a bit and do not try to force anything. Just BE there. The rest will happen naturally. I do hope this helps a bit.