I often wonder - particularly when I'm feeling depressed and unable to keep full control over myself. Despite the fact that I don't really want to die right now, that's not always the case. So I wouldn't be too surprised if I took my own life one day. The urge just gets so strong and my resolve gets weaker and weaker as time goes on. Combine that with the ebb and flow of my lack of connection to reality, and I could easily see myself at least attempting it. I suppose if it happened that way, it'd probably be from carbon monoxide poisoning (car exhaust), bleeding out, firearm, or drug overdose. Depending on my resolve and convenience.

Hopefully, I'll die from old age before then, though.

As for worrying about it, right now I'm pretty concerned but I'm focusing it in a positive manner. I'm trying to find methods to stay alive and really attempting to take care of my mental health lately. I'm hoping to find ways to avoid the really bad lows I get to, so that kind of a death doesn't have to be much of a concern. As for how old age would take me, I haven't thought too much about that. I'm trying not to think of death as inevitable (although I know it is). Maybe cancer or diabetes or something like that. I'd prefer not to waste away though. I want it to hit me and to never know it was coming.