Maxime,

I'm so sorry to hear you have been feeling especially low. I really think you should follow your instinct and go into the hospital.
Is your mom in a situation where she is physically dependent on you? Maybe you can ask a social worker or your therapist for some practical advice on how to deal with this situation. The truth is that you are feeling like you really need help. This is important. Please take care of yourself. Sending many hugs and thoughts for you to feel much better soon.