Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I like T very much, but I always find aspects of my T that I don't like. It could be that I'm afraid of the closeness.
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Or maybe it's just that you don't like certain things about her. Which is OK. For most people we don't like 100% of how they are and this is normal. No one is going to be our perfect person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow
My former T said the relationship just has to be "good enough." It's not going to be perfect.
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My T has said much the same. He even put numbers on it. He said if a relationship can be good enough if it is 1/3 attuned, 1/3 misattuned but you fix it (rupture/repair), and 1/3 misattuned and you don't/can't fix it. I don't know where he got these numbers, but if he and I ever have disagreements and we don't fix them, I can reassure myself by putting it into that 1/3 misattuned/unfixable category and know that our relationship is still good enough. And it gives me the freedom to just let some things go, and not dwell on a lack of perfect attunement. Essentially, it's letting the other person be human.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow
I'm sorry I keep starting threads about the same subject.  |
That's because this subject is important to you. It's OK.
Good luck with the EMDR. I'm glad you are willing to try new things. If it doesn't work with the fingers, then you will have learned something valuable for the next time.