FUzzy...sorry you had such a hard night {{{{hugs}}}} but I AM glad to hear you got through it somehow...I know how hard that can be at the time...and I dont think you "made a mess" at CC...sometimes writing and posting is the little bit that helps us get through and I'm sure most of us understand that.
Why not "start" looking aroudn for a T so you have some resources already at hand when you may need it? It can be a long process to find someone you trust so it wouldnt hurt to look around a bit right?
Sending warm thoughts your way and I hope today is a much better one for you.
Jennifer