Thinking of you. Sorry to hear you are struggling. I too wish I could drink again on bad days. I don't think it will lift my depression, I just think it might make me feel differently and anything has to be better, right? But I can usually resist the urge, knowing that it interferes with my meds and my liver has enough to deal with. I hope your p-doc gets back soon and you can have a consultation. Sitting in the dark with your thoughts is a scary place to be, but we're all here for you, so you're not alone. I've nearly gone to the hospital several times in the last 2 weeks. Somehow I've made it through, but my meds still aren't right. I'm sleeping 12-16 hours a day on this new stuff Strattera. So I need the doc to get me something new quick. I don't want to sleep my life away and be listless even when I am awake.

Do whatever is best for you. If you can hang on, do so, but if things get too bad there is always the hospital. Your p-doc will be able to consult with them when she gets back.

Sending you big We're all in this battle together.