I'm not sure how to start this or how to make myself understood. I've posted this in anxiety too.

I am me I am Rhiannon. This post is caught between two threads because I am not sure what is happening.

I am feeling increasing anxiety about at times not being who I am. I am learning to hate myself for this person who busts into MY mind taking over without me knowing or remembering. I don't know what to do. I have no intention of hurting others or not supporting them in their times of need. But this person the one who I suspect it of being takes over so subtly that I don't know until I'm sent a loving and gentle reminder that I've done it again; overstepped the boundaries by which I have agreed to abide.

So I am attempting to do two things here I think. One is to be mindful at all times of who I am and to do that consciously...is that even possible?... to be mindful of what I am writing and certain that it won't hurt someone.

I am hating myself more because I'm hurting people I have no intention of hurting; I'm being unsupportive of people who need support and need holding up not dragging down when they are vulnerable.

I really am going crazy and theres not a damn thing I can do about it, my mum is right I am mental and I am crazy!

How do I fix this without coming to hate myself even more?

How do I not hate the part of me that is doing this?

How do I talk to that part of me? How do I reason with that part of me and teach that part that there is no need to be mean or hateful? How do I recognise that part of me and recognise what that part of me needs and yet encourage it to feel safe enough not to discourage others?

This is assuming that I have this right in any way at all. I just don't know and I don't know what to do...

This is so confusing to me and I don't need any more confusion right now
I feel like I should just dissolve away and not exist anymore