He canceled it He was in Northern California, he told me before in his email that he will be back by Sunday Afternoon, which I thought it's kinda not possible to meet him.....but he wanted!!!!

Anyway....good that I gave him my number, otherwise, I would have gone there and be pissed really....arggg....we were suppose to meet at 6, and he called at 4pm....it was kinda awkward, it was our first telephone conversation and he was constantly apologizing.....I said "that's okay, don't worry about it"....then he said it's better for him to meet tomorrow night, I said it should be at 7pm....now, I'm just not sure even if I meet him....but who cares, I'm the same single person and he's a stranger.....

I was kinda excited and nervous at the same time, and now I'm back to my normal life....I kinda like his voice........am I fantasizing? this is not my first online dating....I've met guys before through online dating, but I've never had such an excitement!!!!

Right now, I just feel so lonely and scared....what if I don't find anybody in my life? what if I end up alone? hate all these thoughts.....

I had very good weekend.....I call and sick on Friday....and Friday night my friends took me to a nice restaurant and we had such a great time, then yesterday some other friends came here for pool party and my birthday.....It was so good....but still I can feel that void that empty space in my soul....I wish....I just wish....I had a companionship.....just a wish....

thanks Belle for asking....I'll let you know if I meet him tomorrow.....now, I have no clue if I should call him tomorrow, where and when to meet him?

If I don't here from him till 6pm, then I will text him.....sucks!

well....there is no expectations really....he's a total stranger.....

I just watched a sad/depressing/scary movie.....and I feel down.....I found out my mom feels so down too....I miss her now....although, she has so much craziness, but I think she's the one who really love me.....my younger sister doesn't even reply my txt back....I invited her over, but her husband doesn't like to hand out with me....I really don't like him....he doesn't have any family member and he doesn't let my sister to hang out with me.....

anyway, I think I will just go to a bookstore and bury myself under books....

bye for now
Marjan