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I like T very much, but I always find aspects of my T that I don't like. It could be that I'm afraid of the closeness. If I feel close to her, then what does that mean?
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It's okay to have things about your t you don't like. We all have things about even our closest relatives and friends we don't like. That's NORMAL. Don't overanalyze that. BUT . . . we don't condemn people for their minor faults either, remember that.
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My former T said the relationship just has to be "good enough." It's not going to be perfect
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I think that is very important to remember. NOTHING is going to be perfect all the time. That's just reality.
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I wish I could bypass this stage of "wanting her to be everything to me" but feeling guilty about that. I've never gotten beyond that in therapy.
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Unfortunately, no one can be "everything" to you. You'll be disappointed every time. No need to feel guilty about that. It just is what it is. Instead of spending energy on feeling guilty, use that energy to say to yourself, "This therapy is important to my well-being and my future. I will work with my therapist to move forward." Notice the focus was on the therapy and your progress, not on the therapist.