Yes, an ideal family would have been very nice. I know one probably doesn't exist-- but sure would have been nice to have one at least somewhere on the specturm of ideal instead of so dysfunctional.....

mine was more like this

1. conditional love-- each member will
"jump through hoops" to impress the parents and the one that jumps the
best will get the most love-- but that can change as the parents hold all the cards as to how to value each child.

2. communication is by yelling-- the loudest will be heard, empathy plays no role in the communication.

3. Home is a place where one must be as on guard as anywhere else, a place where trusting means getting hurt, it's best to not share joy or sorrow lest one be trampled for such emotions.

4. Innocence and purity is for those that are dumb and clueless.

5. Every member is self absorbed and trying to survive.

6. There are no lessons of what is good or not, it is experienced by often severe trial and error. WHO is always more important than WHAT is going on in any situation. Hoarding and apathy are a given.

7. Reprimands and corrections rarely occur. People learn not by example but by horrific experiences without guidance. Each one is responsible for their own self, no matter how small or inexperienced.

8. Respect and acceptance are earned with ever changing limits and goals-- with some never getting there.