tamzinrose, no need to be sorry!

Feelings are NEVER invalid or reason to apologize.

My only point in posting was in the hope that you will continue to give this place a chance... because it can be a wonderful, supportive community.

I tried to offer a bit of explanation in hope that you might be able to break through the feeling of being an outsider. That is not a good feeling, I know. And depression makes that feeling worse, and also makes it a sort of "self fulfilling prophecy". It can be worth it to try to break through those feelings to get the support you need. I am speaking of depression in generalized terms here, not purposing to know exactly what you are feeling right now or where you have or have not been with your coping with your depression.

If it helps, try to ignore the "cliques" that tend to form. We have lots of new members every day. Maybe you can engage and form friendships with some of them. Post as much as you feel comfortable with... when something hits a vein of truth with other people, you will find lots of responses and lots of new friends.