I just remembered that I said I felt like I had made him my "victim". And he wondered out loud what it would feel like if the people who made me a victim came to me and apologized and said they were embarrassed and ashamed about what they had done, and had just valued me enough to be open with me and to ask for my forgiveness. While he was talking he was talking in the "I"...like what if your abusers said "I'm sorry. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed, etc. etc. etc". Nothing felt real while he was saying it. It was like being in a dream.