I'm trippin balls (so what's new)

I feel like such a flake & fake...
Last week I was experiencing a psychotic episode, this week I"M FINE, like it never even happened. I'm starting to question the reality & severity of my illness... Breaking point 1 minute, together and fully functional the next. Like WTF? Seriously now. It's hard to for people to take my "illness" seriously because of this. So I can understand their reservations about how ill I supposedly am...

I think my mom's coming around though, she knows I have "issues" but last night she brought my supper to my room... ( this was a peace offering & display of care, she usually shouts "I never gave birth to any cripple kids, get your own food")

She overheard my convo with my niece, I was saying very LOUDLY that I'm not the same Ophelia I was, that there are times when I just absolutely CANNOT handle stress, it will make me sick, but at the same time, there are still times when I thrive on it. And it's my responsibility to know when what is appropriate, and make sure I say "I CAN"T" at work, when I really can't... Not sure how my mom felt about overhearing that bit, think she was a tad bit shocked...

Anyway, back to the topic, so pdoc has booked me off work for the next week, but I came back b/c I'm FINE...why should I lay around in bed, when I should be earning an income to sustain my daughter? DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME So was I in such bad shape last week, that he thought I needed 2 weeks off work? and voila, I'm better a week before schedule? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

Right now I don't know a lot of things, I'm still trying to sort out the mess in my mind, but really now, do you get what I'm saying?

Do you empathize with the question :
"Am I a fake or a flake"?