You've been 'somewhere else' or at least not where you are 'consiously,' some time has passed without you even realising it, the world has carried on moving around without you and suddenly find yourself here, you smile, wonder what the hell it is that your doing/what you really wish or hope to achieve and you pause. You try and re-establish yourself but whatever 'role' you where on seems to have ended.

How can someone live like this; a lot of people don't understand (and excuse my thinking; one thing does not necessarily correlate to the other). But I can and I do...... I am very far removed from people, from everyone..... And it's manifested.....

Maybe i'm just spitting out words, and i can put myself there, get swept away in this thought. Maybe i'm seeking 'expression.'........ it's difficult to express such 'darkness;' this truth that removes you. It's madness, complete madness and what can one gain from it?? Gain from 'giving it,' 'passing' it?? Who needs this in their lives....?? Back to the 'madness' that is and that escalates and swirls around in this beautiful yet dark oblivion which is your mind; your thoughts and dreams.

You have to come to grips with what your thinking...... But there is no coming to grips with it!! There is no end, no beginning........ I take a breath and sink into this abyss. Here i am again. Lovely . yeah....

I don't know, one has to wonder what is good for them?? I feel like apologising...... Anyway not to read too much into anything..... Always sounds worse than it is; worse than what these 'waters' hold.

God knows.....

Its one hell of a way to live..... But one does.

One is looking for something but its certainly not sympathy!!

You don't mind me spitting out words?? I don't know if this would fall within any 'grounds;' that of being constructive.

I certainly think if there's people out there with a problem with dissociation I'm one of them. Not that I think this is my only problem haha. Ya, i'm pretty sure i'm bipolar also. People don't seem to like to 'mix' the two but for me it's perfectly reasonable to assume that the two might co-exist together and even feed off each other.

Anyway just some of my blabber....

Wish everyone the best.