I need to talk to somebody about being the black sheep of the family. I have one sister, and she has always been my parents' favorite. All my growing up years, i tried not to see it -- well, even in my adult years! But after falling into clinical depression and entering therapy, I've been starting to peel back the layers of denial, and i've had to admit that, yes, I'm not the favored child.

I'm pretty sure I'm not mistaken because there have been several things that have pointed that way. For one thing, my dad once got drunk and was getting on my case about his disappointments in me (that I hadn't gone to college right out of school, that i didn't have children, etc.). He actually called me lazy, and asked "How come you didn't do thing like your sister did? She did everything right." He also has looked down on me and called me "poor."

My mom also favors my sister. When my parents were moving, they gave my sister an antique trunk and rocker, and some dishes. They never offered me anything except house plants, and our house does not have proper lighting for that. My sister lives in a big, almost new home, and they make almost twice the money I do, yet my parents gave her things, and not me. She told me offhand one day, "We didn't offer you anything because we knew you didn't have any room." My sister didn't need dishes, but we did. We had to go out and buy some.

Also, my parents were getting rid of their riding mower, because where they live wouldn't have grass to cut. It was several years old, and my husband needed it because he's disabled and yard work is hard for him. Even though my parents are retired and their house and car is paid for, and they haven't even dipped into their retirement savings, they made us buy the mower for a few hundred dollars.

And. . .there's other things. Not so much the things they "do," as the things they "dont' do." Like for example, one year, my husband and I went to visit my folks, and i noticed they had a picture of my sister hanging on the wall, but none of me. That hurt my feelings.

I feel angry and sad that my parents favor my sister. It hurts my feelings that my dad thinks I'm lazy and unmotivated and poor. I've worked a full-time job for 28 years. My husband is disabled so my salary pays for all our expenses. It's true that we have a small, rather old house but we keep it neat and clean, and it will be paid off in 6 years. We're out of debt completely except our mortgage.

Why don't my parents like me? I'm not belligerant, I treat them respectfully, I don't drink to excess or do drugs, i'm honest, i've never been in trouble with the law, Iand 've never asked to borrow money. But I'm still a disappointment to them.

I have a house, but my sister's is bigger and newer
I have a job, but my sister makes more money
I have 1 year of college, but my sister went earlier and got her degree
We're both married, but they like my sister's husband more
My sister and I both treat my parents well, but my sister goes waaaaaay above and beyond to get their approval (such as spending 5 hours ironing her shears because my parents are coming to visit and taking my mom shopping even though her knee is blown out). I've given up trying to get their approval, as nothing I've ever done seems "good enough."

OK. I'm done whining. It just really hurts my heart. All i ever wanted was for them to love me, but i feel like deep down they don't.