SAWE, I will probably do that. Ask T, I mean. But I might just blurt out the other stuff first before I lose my nerve. Last week I fleetingly thought about crashing my car when I drove home. I used to think that way a lot after a session with my former T when I felt that awful despair of not getting what I wanted from her. I've never been suicidal, though. Just fleeting thoughts probably because I was so frustrated and angry. Thanks for your input.