No defense needed, SAWE. I was very careful to state that it seemed there were a lot of things making you feel that way (you were clear on that), not just the photos. I made sure to acknowledge that so you would not think I was misinterpreting, so rest assured, I hear ya! I had just wanted to say that about the photos so they wouldn't necessarily add to your feelings of being unwanted.

You and your mom had early hard times. I am glad you are able to feel some empathy (I think it can help in healing). Sounds like a terribly hard time for all.

My mom has said to me she didn't want to have me so I know what it is to have it acknowledged that I was not wanted. She told me very matter of factly rather than in anger or frustration. It was just a fact--nothing personal--and I have tried to accept it in that vein too (for my own protection). She would not have wanted any 4th child, as she wanted to be done childbearing.