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I was glad to find this forum. People share so many experiences and I would like to as well. I feel that I have developed a pattern of thinking over time that is related to my traumatic experiences. I don’t like this way of thinking because it’s rigid and immature considering I don’t think this way about anything else; it’s only about things concerning the traumatic events. People use the term "trigger" to express this I think; like it’s something that comes up that causes one to experience the anxiety of the trauma.
The thing is, I want to grow... I want to be able to live without this way of thinking. Intellectually and in my heart I know this thinking is "off" but it comes in, the anxiety and anger comes in. I feel more and more that I can think and feel both ways at the same time and just see it for what it is and not try to do something to escape it. But it still feels so painful. I've been in therapy but currently looking for a new therapist since I moved. I feel like I need to really face my trauma, sit with my pain, really sit with it and still know life is here and I'm alright.
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