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Old Jul 27, 2010, 01:16 PM
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stieg stieg is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Posts: 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belle1979 View Post

Can you join a group/club (I joined Yoga - not really that social but it got me out of the house and doing something back when I REALLY didn't feel up to it)... as for dating.. online perhaps? Treat it as a bit of fun and see who you met...

Good Luck xxxx
1.I take martial arts, know some people. That's it.

2.Tried online dating, nothing happened.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rohshall View Post
Hi Stieg,

I can relate to what you are saying. But what is not clear to me is - why do you avoid people?

1. Do you avoid people because you are afraid of them?

This is called social anxiety. I have this condition. I have been bullied by some boys when I was a kid. That coupled with poor social skills ensured that I became a loner. To resolve this, you need to find out what exactly you are afraid of - are you afraid of people ganging up on you and shaming you? (this is for me). So, you need to learn not to put yourself in a vulnerable situation before people you don't trust and build up skills to defend yourself.

2. Do you avoid people because you cannot relate to them?

If this is so, chances are you have not had any role models of social interactions. I did not have any good role models for social interaction. It was confusing to me how some people get along so well with others, but I can't. The problem was - I have been under the impression that you just please people, talk about subjects they want to talk about, be nice to them, you will have friends. But it is not so, for any social interaction to be successful, there has to be a connection and that connection comes only when you have that connection with yourself i.e. you like yourself, you take care of yourself, you are not afraid to make your needs a priority. When you are in touch with yourself, you can talk to people as equals and you will have a more genuine connection.
I don't avoid people, people avoid me. Being different from them is why they avoid me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhiannonsmoon View Post
Hello steig,

How old are you and where do you live? Are you a loner or are you lonely? There is a difference; a loner doesn't want things to change but someone who is lovely usually does want a change...it does take time and effort...I do hope things change for you in the most positive of ways...that internet dating idea of Belle's is a really good idea... it surely can't hurt and could be some fun...a few coffee dates or a dinner ?

Good luck

Rhiannon
1.I'm 34.

2. Being loner and lonely isn't much of a difference. As i said before i've tried online dating and nothing happened. Some girls from South America and Europe sending me messages and i'm very far where i come from to where they are. Dating is really hard and difficult these days. Women these days only want to go out with men who are doctors or district attorneys and owning a Lexus or a SAAB. I have no clue of what to do. I can't stand this anymore. I do need help pronto!