Hi, I didn't mean to make it sound so ecryptic. Is that the right term to use?
What I meant was-when I'm insecure, I become defensive and I act out in ways that isn't true who I am.

I do it trying not to appear vulnerable or stupid. I always end up wanting to bonk myself on the head, anyway.
I have to learn to put my defenses aside and just be me.

Thanks for responding.
(((((((((everyone)))))))))))))