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Thank so much. She can retake the test, in fact I thought this was more of a practice run to give her an idea of what was on the test, but I think the difficulty surprised her. I'm not sure why. She can get into grad schools without it, but if she wants to get into the good ones, then she needs a minimum score on it.
I am a bit insecure about this area of our relationship. I know that each of my children is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses. When she took an advanced math class as a junior in HS (well beyond my abilities) she hit one section and had difficulty and wanted to drop the class. It was half over! She had never taken a book home to study. At the time I told her that before I signed the slip allowing her to drop the class, she had to meet with her teacher for extra help and actually study for two weeks. If she felt the class was beyond her abilities at that time I would sign the drop slip.
Things might have been fine if I had simply left it at that. But I was so exasperated by her attitude that I added "I do not expect you to exceed at everything you do, but I do expect an honest effort before giving up. Your brother struggles for a minimum of three hours every night just to get through the basic classes, you can give up a couple hours of your social life to complete this class!"
She did complete the class and did well in it. She even gave me a bit of credit for making her stick to it. She did not have to take any math classes in college because "mom wouldn't let me drop that math class from hell."
I do not want to belittle her feelings. I understand very well how it feels to be disappointed, frustrated and scared. I just don't want her to give up her dream because she's afraid of failing.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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