Standing in the full moonlight, making elixirs, potions, watching the clouds skim across the sky. Feeling strong, complete in who I am knowing that I can make a difference to the lives of even only a few people. Walking to the oceans edge to wet the hem of my dress in honour of the magnetic power of the moon and the Goddess. Feeling total and complete in this knowledge that I've had since before I was born.

For a few days I am feeling good, in my true self at my most comfortable my most pwoerful; then one morning I wake up and that part of me is gone again. My chest feels heavy, I feel low and I miss her, that part of me who at times makes me feel so powerful and strong, no anxiety, no fear, no sadness no un-happiness and I cry. I beg her to come back and stay but she doesn't answer me, she just stands there with her staff watching as I struggle along, she doesn't like me to beg.