hmm...first thought, Youve lost your sense of control of something important to you..something personal.whatever it is, you feel it has torn you apart..made you less human...less who you are. perhaps you brought this upon yourself you think and now you feel unworthy of love..attention. Youre damaged but too distant to feel or understand it. perhaps you should try. its not love you seek... it self reflection....know thyself..first.