fins, when I make what someone thinks is a "mistake", probably because everything I did as a child was hostilely criticized, and someone responds with words, words that contra-dict what I say -- well, that doesn't work for me. I want someone who basically does not use a lot of words in response to everything I say, but quietly listens for me to say more, or asks if they don't understand something, for me to explain it in more detail. In an atmosphere of reduced anxiety, I catch my own cognitive distortions. Arguing is death.