Susan,

I'm really not sure how to respond to your comments. I think that you would agree with my mother and my sister who told me when I was growing up that I was just selfish and shouldn't bother people and I was wrong to want to try anything. I've been trying to get away from that stuff, and to find out who I am and reach for some of the opportunities that I thought were closed to me. I do feel guilty for wanting to spend time on something that I like, and I also feel guilty for wanting to cut my work hours and for not being home enough. I don't actually expect to travel that often - I was just saying that when I did get away I felt better and could function, although I don't think that running away from anything helps anybody long-tem, and it bothers me that I feel like I need to be away so much. I feel guilty for getting married and starting a family when I wasn't ready, but I didn't see any other options then. I feel guilty for owing so much on student loans and it's all for nothing. And I feel bad for wanting to be worth something. I'm wondering if I'm supposed to go back to being trapped at hom and not being able to go anywhere or do anything, and I know that I can't handle that. Before, it got to the point where I couldn't function anymore and I just wanted to die. Having a goal to go on with my education has been the thing that keeps me moving. And maybe it shouldn't be, and I really have no right to want that. Maybe I really am worthless, and shouldn't ask for anything.