Sometimes I have very vivid dreams when I've stopped taking medication. I have dreams of being lucid or consciously aware of my surroundings while asleep. I can move around the house, walk through walls, but there are still rules. It makes me want to stop the medication if I can do it...but I'm not sure which is better. It's like I have to sacrifice so much to remain in this certain sane state, but I'm not entirely sure what sane is.

Sometimes, though, the dreams turn into sleep paralysis and tactile nightmares. Those are extremely vivid and intense, not like flashbacks but completely created "Shadow" person who attacks me and tries to subdue me from traveling around. It's odd, that there is this evil creature that keeps me stuck in this state, and sometimes I wonder if there is a spiritual element. It actually makes me struggle with spirituality, being that I don't ever dream of angels, just this evils shadow dominates.