Hello pinwickey,

This seems like such a sad situation for you. When they expect you to simply accept their deisres and needs with open arms but you are still in shock and trying to come to terms with the surreality of the situation, it can bring you down into a depression that they just don't understand although they should because the depression they have gone through at having to hide themselves for so long is proprtional to what their partner feels.

When I think of this I feel for you. There is something very gut kicking and shocking when you first see your bf, partner/husband in either your clothes or clothes they've been buying and hiding from you.

Yes they are going to go somewhere they feel supported and there aren't many communities which are supportive for the partners of those who crossdress. I'm unsure as to whether those who crossdress truly expect their partner to support them, or if they genuinely are afraid of losing their marriage.

It is very difficult to come to terms with two lots of makeup in the bathroom and two lots of scanties in the drawers, yet they expect you to. I think they may be so caught up with their desires and needs that they forget about their partner and are upset when that partner doesn't react with glee to the situation.

I can tell you honestly that I feel very sorry for your plight and I understand how difficut it is as well as how shocking it is. After the shock and surreal phase it is natural to go into the grief stage. At this time it is good to contact a grief counsellor. A counsellor at this stage can save you a lot of anguish down the track, before your feelings are in too much turmoil for you to understand what started where.

I hope you can see a counsellor and sort your feelings out in an ordered way, so that you are able to handle what you want to do with your own life, be it with or without your husband,

Rhiannon