Thankyou all for your advice
What really hit me was a conversation with one of my really good friends (co-incidently my ex) when she was absolutly bladdered, She poured out her heart as to how she was so worried about how i was killing myself etc.
Big big wakeup call. That was over 12 hours ago now and I havn't touched one since.
Hopefully I'll kepp it up, because i do realise how much of a waste it really is.