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Old Jul 29, 2010, 05:23 AM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Washington DC metro area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Do you feel that you have this battle between what you think and what others think because you feel that your own identity isn't very strong?
Of course. (My mother told us that she would "break" us. Or at least break our spirits.)

Let me tell you something that happened in one of the first nights of my breakdown: I wrote out a note and left it by my bed at night before going to sleep. I wrote what my name was, who I was. I did this because I was afraid that when I woke up in the morning maybe I would not be there -- I would have been "replaced" by another person. That would probably be the person that "everyone" seemed to want, a person who had all the standard, accepted ideas, the person that I could never be, the person that I was not. Someone who would discover me in the morning would at least have a clue if I left a note who I was. Because "I" would be gone.

Such things are really possible. Ever heard of amnesia? I believe that it could happen, after having that experience. I do remember very little of my childhood. It still always lurks in the background as a possibility -- that such a descent into madness could happen again.
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Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631