Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah
Do you feel that you have this battle between what you think and what others think because you feel that your own identity isn't very strong?
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Of course. (My mother told us that she would "break" us. Or at least break our spirits.)
Let me tell you something that happened in one of the first nights of my breakdown: I wrote out a note and left it by my bed at night before going to sleep. I wrote what my name was, who I was. I did this because I was afraid that when I woke up in the morning maybe I would not be there -- I would have been "replaced" by another person. That would probably be the person that "everyone" seemed to want, a person who had all the standard, accepted ideas, the person that I could never be, the person that I was not. Someone who would discover me in the morning would at least have a clue if I left a note who I was. Because "I" would be gone.
Such things are really possible. Ever heard of amnesia? I believe that it could happen, after having that experience. I do remember very little of my childhood. It still always lurks in the background as a possibility -- that such a descent into madness could happen again.