(((((((( pachyderm )))))))))

I have been listening and reading quietly in the background.

I'd like to give you my thoughts if you don't mind.

I personally feel that you have been through so much horrendous stuff with past therapists (and your Mother) that did not listen that actually going to see a therapist is like going to see your abuser. I'm not sure that seeing a therapist is the answer for you.

What I think works for you is sharing with other people who truly understand on here! The benefits are huge for you. You can take your time. You can be honest and say, hey folks I'm scared, I'm getting triggered. You can walk away for a bit and when you are ready you come back and try again. There is a wealth of people here that have been through therapy or been through similar situations to you.

I wish you lived in the UK and then we could meet up have a cup of tea together and chat, chat, chat.



If you were going for therapy you need a very calm intelligent therapist. The first year will need to be introducing real good coping strats so that you can cope with the heavy stuff. You can't deal with triggers until you know how to calm yourself. You'll note that I said for YOU to calm yourself. That's what coping stratergies do. Eventually you won't need coping stratergies so much because you'll no longer get triggered. Once you've got those coping strats (your tool box) that's when the therapist will start to go through the heavy stuff with you. The aim being that you graduate from therapy no longer getting triggered and feeling confident in yourself.

OK, I've rambled when you asked me to listen, I'm listening and here for you as are many others.