Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
What happens to me, in almost any kind of interaction with other people, but certainly has always happened in therapy situations, is that instead of getting moved gently towards a stabler, more reassuring condition, exactly the opposite happens. I always get diverted from what feels like a truer "me" to a state of loss and confusion. This seems not be be recognized by anyone I know; in fact I don't even know anyone who cares. That is what happened in my first therapy: instead of moving towards a more rewarding state, my therapist "pushed" me towards instability, confusion, and increasing panic. And he would not recognize that he was doing anything wrong. I have never been able to get anyone else to understand what I am talking about. I have tried. I am unwilling to continue to beg for someone to listen.
|
This is exactly what happened to me in therapy. Almost verbatim. THings got a lot worse before they got slightly better at all. I can't tell you how many times I actually said "I thought therapy was supposed to make things
better" And yet there I was circling the drain.
I'm still not sure exactly how or why my therapy made things so much worse before they got better - and they did get better - but I suspect that sometimes you have to disassemble a structure to make it stronger. I don't know. Maybe I just needed to grieve. Maybe I just needed to get lost. Who knows.