Reading this thread made me think about the times I have gone back and read my T's description since I started therapy. I do it periodically, I'm not sure why. It always feels a little...weird, I guess?...because I guess the most basic outline is there (something like "the therapist and client work together to find out where problems come from and how to solve them" - can't remember exactly). I guess I can see the curiosity he brings to session in his description...but my REAL T isn't there. It doesn't say "I will listen to whatever you say", "I won't judge your feelings, your thoughts or your actions, but I will seek to understand", "I will be patient for as long as it takes for you to build trust", "I won't tell you what to do, I will witness as you develop the strength to figure it out for yourself", "I am willing to change how I work to meet your needs", etc. THAT (and more) is my T. Of course, those are the parts of my T that matter most to me and my healing. Another client might pick things like "I have good boundaries" or "I see a therapist myself to help with countertransference issues" or whatever as the most important things. None of those things are in his description, but all of those things are "him". Honestly, maybe therapists need a little training in how to describe themselves to potential clients. Like Sunny, I had never been to a therapist before, so I had NO idea what the heck they DO. I guess I'm just musing out loud here.

I really appreciate that you keep coming back and sharing how you're feeling and what you're thinking. I know for me, even conflict (or what feels like conflict to me) can help me understand more deeply what *I* believe and what *I* need.

Hang in there, pachy