I'm reading Wishcraft by Barbara Sher, http://wishcraft.com and was struck by this in Chapter 2:

"Women are raised for love. That is, we have been raised to give it in order to get it. Our upbringing trained us to nurture other people. We’re supposed to be good to our children so that they can grow up and realize themselves. We’re supposed to back up our husbands so that they feel free to go out and realize themselves. In other words, the flowers are to grow, and guess what that makes us? Fertilizer—to put it politely. That’s how most of us were taught we would get love—not by being flowers ourselves. If we dared to flower—to be active and self-absorbed and good at things—nobody would feed our roots, and we would die. At least, that’s how it felt."

Is this perspective how you felt growing up? How about now; is this attitude how you think things "are"? The author is being provocative, says that's not how things are supposed to be (explains how they are supposed to be and how to create that for one's self later in the chapter).