(((pinwicky))) - I can understand why you're grieving. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions? Does he do this all the time or discreetly occasionally? I also want to say I appreciate all the other posts.

I do want to offer a ray of hope here. Many people are under the misconception that men who cross dress are gay. True there some who are, but the average male who fancies women's clothing aren't gay. He can still love and desire you. There are marriages that survive this but it's necessary to work through the feelings. If he's doing this discreetly it would be easier, but some women can accept being around their husband when dressed as a woman.

Of course there are some women who simply can't accept this in a marriage. If you both still love each other, you can learn to separate this aspect and still be with him. Have a caring and open discussion and see what he says - don't automatically close the 'door'. He most likely has been doing this since adolescence so it's nothing to do with 'you'. I'm sure he has painfully struggled with all his life. Try to separate the love you have for him, from him dressing up.