Pachy,

It sounds like you're in turmoil right now. I'm sorry you're hurting. I can imagine how awful you must feel right now. I can hear you saying that you need to have a t that is intelligent and well-qualified enough that you can put trust in them to help you. I'm just not sure you can be certain of this from reading therpist descriptions on a Web site. I think it takes sitting down with them and observing over a period of time.

What I'm wondering about, though, that seems problematic, is your statement that you can't leave a therapist that may not be right for you. That doing so triggers memories of your interactions with mom. Is this why you need to be certain you have found the right one before you even begin? If so, i can see why you'd be frustrated because, just as you've said, most Web site descriptions of therapy are rather vague.

I'm not sure what i can say, except that i care about you and hope you arrive at some way of finding a type of therapy that will fit your particular needs, and not just follow a general plan and hope for the best. I can see you as having high standards for the person you entrust your care to, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just don't think a therapist's short Web site description of their work will provide you with enough information to know whether they would be a good fit for you.

I know you've had alot of bad experiences, both as a child, and as an adult with therapists. I hear you saying you're fed up, disappointed, and feeling rather hopeless about it all. But try to enterain the thought that maybe, just maybe, you have not found the right match yet.

By the way, my t does IFS therapy, and there is no religious aspect to it that i know of, unless you are religious and choose to bring that to the work. What i have found they mean by the term "spiritual" is more along the lines of recognizing your own scared, inner gifts or value. I'm not sure i'm explaining it right! But it doesn't involve prayer or the like. At least not in my therapy. So, if IFS looks to be something that might interest you, it's a possible option.