Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
Deli - with great affection  - and remember this is coming from Mrs Avoidance, one who calls herself sittingatwatersedge because of a lifetime of avoidance -
self-therapy is isolating, and comforting, and safe in a sense (the safety of distance) - but it may not be safe in the sense of finding the right path.
Events are deemed "traumatic" when the person is powerless to deflect or escape them. The events come from outside; you could say that no one suffers trauma alone.
Because of that, it's not possible for someone to heal him/herself of traulma alone. I find this in Herman, in Chu, in Walker, in numberless authors who have a lot of experience in healing trauma.
The idea of healing myself is attractive but I fear it's futile. What is it that St John of the Cross said - " A blind man who falls will not be able to get up again, if he is alone; or, if he does, he will take the wrong road."
I've only got so much time left; I fear taking that wrong road. |
thanks for the concern SAWE
. i guess what i'm talking about (not very clearly, i'm afraid) is that even when i'm using others to help me, it's only myself that i need to rely on. that for me is rather empowering, and it centers me in a way that giving control over to someone else destabilises me.
i have many people in my life who i can draw on for help, but i refuse to be "healed" by anyone, because the healing is mine alone to achieve. i find the idea of someone wanting to swoop in and "heal" me distasteful and paternalistic, tbh. but i also don't believe in there being a "right" road or a "wrong" road... just many different paths i can explore until i choose to embark upon another.
e.g., right now there is someone in my life who i am drawing a lot of strength from. he certainly isnt trying to heal me (i'm not sure he is aware that there is healing to be done? and certainly i doubt that he would want to, if he did know) but i'm able to heal myself by being open to our interactions and reflecting on them myself.
i do believe we need people, but i don't believe that the power of healing rests in their hands. that's all
. (and this is simply true for me. it doesn't need to be true for anyone else. it's just my truth; what works for me).
edit: i see pachy responded much more concisely than i did! which is what i was getting at, in my own ambling way
.