(((pachy)))

Just wanted to stop by and add my support. You absolutely deserve to find whatever it is that you need to heal.

The one idea that seems to come up repeatedly, is that you really need someone who is self-aware. It is a relatively rare occurrence, but not impossible to find.

What I would offer you, as someone who has always been sensitive to other people's feelings, is that you are not responsible for how someone else feels. EVER. You are only responsible for how you feel. If you feel anxious, and X person has a problem with you feeling anxious, then it is literally X person's problem.

I can almost hear you now saying 'but if that X person is a T or an authority figure....' It makes no difference. Anyone trying to make you take responsibility for how THEY feel is simply wrong.

A self-aware person might feel some anxiety if they see you being anxious, but they will not 'blame' you for it. Instead they might ask 'why is this bringing up these feelings inside of me...thank you pachy for giving me this opportunity to explore these feelings. Without you bringing them up, I would not have been aware they were there.'

If you can, please remember that. We are each responsible for our own feelings. Period. End of story. Anyone who tells you otherwise, should be approached with caution.

HTH in some small way. You're in my thoughts, pachy.