i am very afraid to seem insensitive.....but i understand bipolar.it sounds like you are very blessed to have this man who is so good to you.i was thinking....if you lost him today...would it terrify you?....what could you tell yourself to grasp the importance of his value?....sometimes we do things because we know we can.so i want you to consider no longer being able to FIX things.so you might then find a path to treating him well and healing.i am noone....but i have lost ppl and wished i had done differently.i hope it helps some tiny bit. .i am sorry you have to struggle with bipolar it is very serious and not your fault....but my point is that ....i dont know you...and yet would hate to think you will lose him...hugs and respect wolf~ message me if you like .you are welcome to.