I wonder what it would be like to be in there and not have my eye on the clock. I mean, sometimes I am not aware of the time, when we are doing trauma work and my entire focus is on not dissociating, or when I AM dissociating, or too scared to not hide my face. But mostly, if I'm there and aware, I am conscious of the time.

I know I look at the clock more when I want T to change the subject. I always look at it when we are about to start trauma stuff. I have this thought of wanting it to say it's time for me to go, and never wanting to go, all at once.