Dear Trippin2.0,

This response is in two parts...before bipolar diagnosis and meds, and after. And it's long, I'm sorry, but I feel very strongly about this topic of work.

Before? I've had a total of 35-40 jobs in my life of 63 years (lost count). Bipolar, alcoholic, partyer extraordinaire, so didn't give a flip about responsibility, just stayed high, or depressed and curled up in bed. Called in to work sick a lot, walked off jobs a lot, quit jobs, was fired a lot, only to be RE-hired on some of the jobs where bosses knew I was a good worker...when I was there. <sigh> That went on until 1995, when I layed down to die, no dx, no hope. I had had enough. Lost my job, lost my house (bought it on a whim), had just bought a car (and still had one that worked). You may know the routine.

But then, the blessed diagnosis, and meds. Many, many meds. Total count now of the ones that didn't work? Seventeen.

But I had also reached the end and screamed "UNCLE", so I applied for and got disability. Couldn't work for five years. But then slowly re-entered the work force as I began to find meds that helped me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the meds seem to be the key (for me anyway) to holding a job without going balistic on idiot bosses, or walking off jobs when pissed (and trying to figure out later what got me pissed in the first place)! And also understanding the nature of mania, which on a good day is VERY hard to do.

Please allow me to ask if you have seen your pdoc to consider "tweaking" your meds? I know that there's a certain dose I NEED to take to be able to call in on a day I'm scheduled to work at my little parttime job to say yes, I will be working (we have to do that). And there have been MANY times I've wanted to just walk off the job. But I'm able now to back off, think it out, calm down, and stay on the job. What a benefit that is! And do you know that I received a certificate and a $50 bonus for perfect attendance for 2009? I cried.

One more thing. I have found that, even tho I have an associate degree, commendations, etc., that I had to drastically simplify my life (and the type of work I did, although this may not be feasible) to be able to not get triggered like in the past, even on my meds.

I really, really wish you well. Oh, and please come here and vent, that seems to help a lot too, to just "get it out" before doing something you may regret at work. Anyway, I hope I haven't stepped on any toes. This is my experience only, but I just felt a need to share with you.